Wednesday, November 01, 2006

New Pets

Over the past month I have lost some pets and gained some other's... To start, both of my rats are gone. The hairless one was killed by the hair-full one, and the hairfull one had started developing a tumor, so I had her put to sleep. I did buy 2 more rats, one which is solid black and one which is solid white. I gave them temporary stereotype names (AKA the white one is named "Cracka"... Just guess what the black one is named.)

Another addition is 2 new beagle puppies, Zoey (on the left) and Snoop Dogg (on the right).
.
I had a few more pictures but some error kept popping up (something about parameters or something) so I will have to find out the problem later.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Taco Bell Sauce Packets

This segment of Bert's Blog is brought to you by Taco Bell!



Everyone has seen the above sauce packets at Taco Bell, and for quite a while now too (unless you don't eat Taco Bell, food for us cheap folks). But finally, Taco Bell has some new phrases on their sauce packets. Of course, I'm not going to post them here, because that would spoil all the fun for ya. So run down to Taco Bell and grab yourself a handful of those sauce packets!

BTW, Taco Bell owes me compensation now for this advertisement.

And I wonder how to get a job writing hot-sauce packet phrases?

UPDATE: Here's a place where you can dress your own sauce packet, and it generates hundreds of different phrases... So if you get bored, there ya go!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Google Maps updated

But they did it on the wrong day... The North side of Midland seems to have been re-photographed, but they seem to have done it on a cloudy day. Guess they'll have to redo it again.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Watch for falling ads

Internet surfers... BEWARE! A new tricky sleazy plot has captured me as it's latest victim. What was it? Falling advertisements. I was casually surfing myspace, when I went to click the "Home" link at the top of the page. But when I clicked on the link, I wasn't clicking home... I was redirected to the VW webpage... When I came back to myspace, I noticed that the advertisement had fallen:

Before

After

Please everyone, be careful where you click!

Friday, July 14, 2006

Eurasian's Accident Report

Well the Eurasian has been posting accient reports in comments on random posts...

%%%EXPERIMENTAL%%%

Why not post them all in the comments of this one post

Hmm the Eurasian is the first to be on the scene of a few accidents... Maybe he should get a police scanner and a digital camera and bring up news of all accidents in town? Then the insurance companies can visit to see the accident scenes?

Friday, July 07, 2006

Theory on dog urine communication

Jimmy Patterson over at The Brew wrote an interesting article about dog habits. it left me wondering - maybe dogs can communicate through their urine like ants communicate through chemicals. Maybe a dog siffing a spot is reading the message and then leaving his own "reply". So I guess areas like the dog park can be considered Doggy Forums?

My newest pet

My friend bought a hairless rat the other day. I thought they were just the coolest things, so I went out to buy one. We both have one rat with hair (I've had mine for about a year) and one hairless rat a piece. Well, I asked him about the hairless rat sneezing all the time... and he said yes his hairless rat has been sneezing constantly, but the other rat hasn't. Same way with my hairless rat... Do hairless rats just have really sensative allergies? Is there anyone that knows if there is any medicine to give her?

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Hot dog eating contest

The Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest in taking place today... Just tell me one thing...



How does this skinny girl, Sonya Thomas, eat 42 hotdogs?!?!?!?!?!?!

Click picture for article

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Dr. Victor Lindlahr's catabolic diet

Apples (best when eaten raw) ... apricots (best when eaten raw)... artichokes, ... asparagus (best when eaten cooked) ... beets ... beet greens (best when eaten cooked) ... blackberries (best when eaten raw) ... blueberries (best when eaten raw) ... broccoli (best when eaten cooked) ... brussels sprouts ... cabbage - white (best when eaten raw) ... cabbage - red (best when eaten cooked) ... cantaloupe (best when eaten raw) ... carrots (best when eaten raw) ... carrot tops (best when eaten cooked) ... cauliflower (best when eaten cooked) ... celeriac (a vegetable best when eaten cooked) ... celery (best when eaten raw) ... chard (best when eaten cooked) ... cherries (best when eaten raw) ... chervil (a vegetable best when eaten cooked) ... chicory (best when eaten cooked) ... Chinese cabbage ... chives (best when eaten raw) ... clams (cooked) ... cod steaks ... collards (best when eaten cooked) ... corn ... crabs ... cranberries (best when eaten raw) ... cucumbers (best when eaten raw) ... currants ... damson plums ... dandelion greens (best when eaten raw) ... dill pickle ... eggplant (best when eaten cooked) ... endive (best when eaten raw) ... flounder (sea food) ... frog legs ... fruit salads ... garlic ... grapefruit (best when eaten raw) ... grapes (best when eaten raw) ... green beans ... honeydew ... huckleberries ... kale (best when eaten cooked) ... kohlrabi (best when eaten cooked) ... kumquats (fruit) ... leeks (best when eaten raw) ... lemons (best when eaten raw) ... letuce(best when eaten raw) ... limes (best when eaten raw) ... lobster ... loganberries ... mangoes ... mushrooms (best when eaten cooked) ... muskmelons (best when eaten raw) ... mussels (sea food) ... mustard greens ... nectarines ... okra (vegetable) ... onions (best when eaten raw) ... oranges (best when eaten raw) ... oyster plant (best when eaten cooked) ... papaya ... parsley leaves (best when eaten raw) ... parsnips (best when eaten cooked) ... peaches (best when eaten raw) ... pears (best when eaten raw) ... pineapple (best when eaten raw) ... peas ... peppers (red & green - best when eaten raw) ... pickles ... pineapple (best when eaten raw) ... plums (best when eaten raw) ... pomegranates ... prunes (best when eaten raw) ... pumpkin (best when eaten cooked) ... quince (a fruit) ... radishes (best when eaten raw) ... raspberries (best when eaten raw) ... red cabbage ... rhubarb (best when eaten cooked) ... salsify (vegetable) ... sauerkraut (best when eaten raw) ... scallions, sea bass ( fish) ... shrimp ... sorrel (a vegetable best when eaten cooked) ... spinach (best when eaten cooked) ... squash (best when eaten cooked) ... strawberries (best when eaten raw) ... string beans (best when eaten cooked) ... tangerines (best when eaten raw) ... terrapin (sea food) ... tomato (best when eaten raw) ... turnips (best when eaten cooked) ... watercress (best when eaten raw) ... watermelon (best when eaten raw) ... wax beans (best when eaten cooked).

All these foods above are a part of the catabolic diet. When eaten, you burn more calories digesting the food than it actually gives you back. Therefore, you lose weight by eating these foods.

Here's the website for more info.

I'm definetly going to start snacking on more fruits and vegetables. OOO and shrimp!!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Coming soon to a KKK Rally near you...

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Other ways to view the KKK video

I do not know why, but some people have been able to see the video and other haven't. The video is also on google if maybe you can access it there...

Google Link

If that still doesn't work, try myspace

Myspace Link

If that still doesn't work, I do not know what to tell you. The file that was uploaded layed in windows media player, so maybe that will help?

Sunday, June 25, 2006

KKK Rally - Midland, Tx

Video footage from the KKK rally in downtown Midland Texas, June 17, 2006.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Drinking daily may be good for you

Daily Drink Good for You! Just One Catch

A new study shows that drinking alcohol everyday can actually be GOOD for you, and decrease your risk of heart disease by 41%! This is great news...so let's celebrate!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Know a bad senior driver?

Well, there is a new program available, Independent Transportation Network, "which provides on-call rides to seniors who trade in their cars and give up their keys in return. Maine resident Katherine Freund created the ITN after her 3-year-old son Ryan was run over by an 84-year-old man who kept going after he struck the child. He later said he thought he'd hit a dog."

Now there are some good elderly drivers out there, but there are also some who make the roads dangerous and need this program. Now if someone would start a program for teenagers, our roads would be a LOT safer.

Summertime... time to fix your home

Plannin on selling your home soon? Here are ten ways to increase the value of your home, cheaply!

1. Make your kitchen really cook.
2. Give appliances a facelift.
3. Buff up the bath.
4. Step up your storage.
5. Add a room in a week or less.
6. Mind the mechanics.
7. Look underfoot.
8. Let there be light.
9. Reframe your entry.
10. Consider curb appeal.

Click the above link for more details

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Eat out, in your home

Here's a wesite that has recipes for your favorite restaurant foods. Enjoy!

http://www.topsecretrecipes.com/recipes.asp

Friday, May 05, 2006

Hurray for higher speed limits!

Midkiff between Kimberlea all the way south is now 40 MPH, instead of 35. Everyone still goes 50 down that road anyway though...

Wadley, between Midkiff and Midland Drive, is now 45 MPH, instead of 40. Now if they can only make the school zone 30 - I never see anyone from that school walking home...

And they need to fix the timing on the lights on Midland Drive. They are timed at night time to where you have to stop for each one, and wait through the turning light even if no one is around. I know most of them don't have those big sensors on the lightposts, but I thought they had ground sensors. I mean come on... they used to work jut fine... Why mess with 'em?

Thursday, May 04, 2006

I'm sure 90% of you have already read this...

(From another circulating e-mail, author unknown)

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER????

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

~~~~

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how??...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on
body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and... I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
only."
(as opposed to...what?)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals."
(..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to repost this message for others to read

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Unwritten Midland Laws...

(Copied from an e-mail circulating, unknown author)

Midland has its own set of traffic rules and tailgating is mandatory.

A person entering a main street from a side road must wait until
oncoming traffic is within 50 yards before pulling out in front of
you. If your brakes are in poor condition, that is YOUR fault.

All directions begin with, "Get on the Loop....."

The loop has no beginning and no end, and the 60 mph speed limit
signs are merely amusing suggestions.
The 8:00 a.m. rush hour is from 7:55 to 8:05, and the 5:00 p.m. rush
hour lasts 15 minutes.
A traffic jam is when you have to wait for the light a second time.

Lamesa road can only be pronounced by a native. Do not attempt to
pronounce it the way your high school Spanish teacher taught you. It
is "luh-mee-suh" and everybody knows it.

The falling of one snowflake causes all traffic to immediately
cease, and those drivers failing to cease will crash into each other.
Fortunately, all schools, businesses and city government will close
when the word snow is mentioned.

If you actually slow down at a yellow light, you are in danger from
those people behind you who are obeying the unwritten law that in
Midland, red lights aren't red until you are in the middle of the
intersection.

Exit and entry ramps on the Loop are just the recommended way to
enter and exit. Feel free to exit at any grassy point you wish.

The weather has it own set of rules: An hour of thunder and
lightning produces no rain. A small gray cloud can close down Wadley
in 5 minutes.
Local TV weather forecasters are manic-depressive. They show endless
radar screens with no sign of moisture all week long, but a severe
thunderstorm on the weekend will not be reported until Monday morning
when they all return to work.

It's not a dust storm until visibility is reduced to your front
bumper. Everything else is just "a windy day."

Midland, Texas: That's where "The Sky's the Limit", and every tree
has its own Walmart bag waving in the breeze.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Appetite Suppressing Food

Maybe the best way for some to diet it to suppress your appetite, or make your stomach feel full. Well, here are the five best foods to eat that will fill your stomach up faster with less calories (according to NewsTarget.com, article found at Netscape.com:

~Water or broth
~Green leafy vegetables, including lettuce, cabbage, and bokchoy
~Homemade instant banana pudding
~Pickles
~Apples

More details found at the article, which gave credit to NewsTarget.com, but I couldn't find it on their website.